I'm Promised/Engaged to Blake and I'm happier than I've ever been in my life.

I love him.

And for the rest of you who don't know what's been happening with me...

-My father's gone. We have no idea where he's at.
-My parent's are officially divorced.
-My brother is off his medicine and doing great.
-My Aunt Angela got married to Johnny.
-I'm turning eighteen in Apirl and moving in with Blake in July. We're going to have our own place. I don't know if I'll be married by then or not.
-I've lost a few very dear friend's to stupid arguments and poor judgement and I've made a few close friend's somehow.
-I haven't cut since last June.
-Aaaaaaand I've adopted numerous animals and they've spawned all over the place.

That's all I can think of at the moment.

For the second time this week I am at a complete loss for words. I’m completely ready to admit that I’m an idiot. I don’t understand what the hell Blake is trying to tell me.

Mistake Number One: I, being the idiot I truly am destined to be, believed him when he told me he loved me.
Mistake Number Two: I tried to make sense of what he was obviously trying to tell me tonight.
I’m not sure if it was his medicine talking or if it was just him. He told me he really didn’t have any feelings for anyone or something to that effect.
Is he trying to “tell” me that he wants to break-up? Why do I even put myself through this?

I’m sorry for keep y’all in the dark for so long. Let me try to clarify.
Four weeks today. Four weeks ago today he asked me out and I said yes. I bloody fucking said yes.
Isn’t it just a little late to be remorseful for that act now? I’ve never been this gone over a guy before, not even Charles.

May I ask you your opinion on the matter? Mine seems to have committed suicide about two weeks ago.

>.> I’m alive. Don’t all of you get worried at once now.

Everything at CHS is going better than I had expected. I have a new boyfriend (-gasp and shock-) whom apparently likes me because I’m “hot” and have a great personality. ._. Me? Hot? Great personality? >___> Erm, right.

He’s 6’4 (…I’m seeing a pattern here…) and has longish brown hair and brown eyes. He’s has a certain way that he goes about things that I absolutely adore. We talked for three hours last night on the phone. Then my mother showed up and demanded the phone be hung up and told me to go to bed. Sort of broke a few rules there.

Rule #1: No calls to boyfriends after Ten. If I’m talking to them before Ten and I just happen to talk to them until about Eleven then it’s alright.

Rule #2: No talking to friends after One.

Rule #3: No turning the radio on after Twelve.

Tada. Sort of surprised she didn’t ground me earlier. I guess she can’t actually tell whom I was talking to. If I just say it was Tia then things should be a little easier.

We were only playing our ongoing game of Twenty Questions… Which never seem to end AT twenty questions.

O_o He said I have a cute nose.

Anyway, besides that everything has been about the same.

My first day was interesting, to say the least. I missed all of first period and half of second in the Guidance Office, filling out papers.

In third I got to sit behind a guy that looks exactly like Rachael’s little brother, only more grown up. He told me, in detail, the story of how he got bit by a stick. The guy that sits across from him explained how he nearly died when his car exploded. Needless to say, it was a long fucking day.

Today was a little better. We had a lock down for three and a half periods so I missed my first Math class. Go me.

Mum called Angela and asked her to take me to the doctor tomorrow. Fina-fucking-ly. Maybe I won’t end up in the hospital. Eh, I’m going to bed.

Just finished reading ‘Just Listen’ by Sarah Dessen. Her books have become godly to me.
Faith bought me six of her books today, ‘Just Listen’ included.

As I see it at the moment, starting at a new school can’t be all the bad. Don’t hold it against me if I come back tomorrow afternoon and say I was completely wrong. Tomorrow is my first day. Saying that I’m a little nervous is an understatement. Unless anyone else tries to be friendly to me, I’m going to be completely alone.

…I hope someone tries to be friendly to me.

Wish me luck!